STABILISE

Disclaimer: It is important to note that STABILISE is a work in progress operated by an educated woman with lived experience with bipolar disorder and computer scientists interested in improving access to practical knowledge, medical professionals, and crisis responders. We are building a mobile application that is designed to track moods and analyse text so help can be provided sooner. For medical advice, please consult your family doctor or a trusted health care practitioner. If you believe you are in need of immediate medical assistance and live in North America, call 911. Otherwise, please reach out to the Lifeline at 988 (by phone or text).

Tag: Embodiment

  • On Embodiment of Self

    On Embodiment of Self

    When I use the term embodiment, I am referring to the process in which an individual returns to and inhabits their body. It could be interpreted as grounding in the sense that it symbolizes the process in which a person recognizes their physical presence in the world.

    It is a vivid internal awareness of one’s body inhabiting time and space.

    I go for periods at a time feeling disconnected from my earthly body. It’s often caused by slipping away from a routine, overstimulation through consumption of information, and allowing myself to be paralyzed by various insecurities.

    I’m going to be honest:

    The digital world, at least social media, does not come easy for me.

    I often live inside my head. Philosophy is quite cerebral, as is reading, psychology, mental health, and so on and so forth. It takes a lot for me to venture out of the safety net of my brain’s capacity to store information.

    It takes a lot for me to approach my body.

    I don’t mean physical exercise in the form of cardio and lifting weights. I mean, mirror work. I’ve struggled with my reflection for as long as I can remember. I used to turn away from every mirror I could, electing to memorize the curves of my body and face so I didn’t have to look at them.

    I still do that sometimes, but this week, something different happened. I was recording a video with my supervisor for a business venture. Given the serious nature of our work, I took the time to observe myself speak and move and look directly into the camera.

    As it turns out, I am not a mutant spaceship alien, and if I am, I give the impression of appearing human very well.

    I went home. I cooked. I stepped into my studio office space, set up my phone, and took one video after another of myself talking. I watched the way my eyes move, floating from here to there as I located the words that fit the meaning of what I was trying to say.

    It was humbling and beautiful to see my imperfect self growing more comfortable as time went on. I noticed the curve of my neck, the place where my glasses settle, how I tend to smile from one corner of my mouth.

    It was a powerful experience and a lesson on what it means to seek embodiment.