STABILISE

Disclaimer: It is important to note that STABILISE is a work in progress operated by an educated woman with lived experience with bipolar disorder and computer scientists interested in improving access to practical knowledge, medical professionals, and crisis responders. We are building a mobile application that is designed to track moods and analyse text so help can be provided sooner. For medical advice, please consult your family doctor or a trusted health care practitioner. If you believe you are in need of immediate medical assistance and live in North America, call 911. Otherwise, please reach out to the Lifeline at 988 (by phone or text).

Tag: bipolar

  • On the Audacity of Not Giving Up

    On the Audacity of Not Giving Up

    “Day by day, we shape a life. Sometimes rather aimlessly, and at other times with deliberation and intention. The more we pay attention, the more we notice the many ordinary moments that add texture and meaning to our lives.”

    Francis Weller

    Building STABILISE AI has been a challenging task when it comes to learning how to form a sense of community, as well as a sense of stability.

    Ironic, I know, but a part of seeing a gap in care is understanding all of the factors an alternative mode requires. A reinforcement for a consistent sleep schedule, for instance.

    Consider this:

    A significant part of living with bipolar disorder and being human is the degree of self-doubt that is experienced. I can only truly speak about my experiences with any real degree of intimacy. I mention bipolar because I have been trying to navigate its terrain through language and designing STABILISE AI.

    My body keeps track of the hours I have slept. When I am excited about a project, whether it be art or writing or STABILISE, I lose sleep. When I lose sleep, I risk becoming manic. It happens in degrees, one turn of the dial at a time, sometimes too subtle and all of sudden, it’s been four days and I’ve slept for approximately 10 to 12 hours in total.

    Mania is confusing because it feels good while engaged with the process of making something. Making art feels good, especially when I am enamored with an idea or a particular concept.

    Projects are the best and the worst. Mania makes the creative drive and process feel like benders.

    Even though I know I should sleep, even though I know I am tired, I am reluctant to leave my studio.

    I never regret getting into bed. I praise God for that serenity, apologize that I am messy, that I could’ve been cleaning or organizing my studio. That’s the risk of depression.

    Follow the seed of self-doubt

    make a chain out of it.

    Suddenly it’s a tree

    and I am collapsing

    inside roots.

    Back to community.

    Community, whether it’s virtual or physical, is essential in developing a stronger sense of my own positive qualities. To realize that complete strangers who have never even met me want me around? They even laugh at my jokes.

    It’s obscene how true it is that one ought never to give up on one’s self.

    To take each day as it comes, to realize that we are actually planting seeds all the time. The ones we learn how to pay attention to are typically the ones that grow, some of them even bloom.

    People are essential. Contact with people and forming healthy relationships are essential for living a healthy life.